lessons

So let’s lighten the mood and move away from my past trauma and toward my current…trying to be good at a really fucking hard sport. Eighteen months ago I ditched CrossFit to solely focus on Olympic weightlifting. A decision that came from some fairly negative experiences led to one of the most positive ones I’ve ever made, a fact that I need to keep telling myself when I’m in the depths of yet another regular ‘I’ll never be good enough’ meltdown.

For those unfamiliar (in which case it’s weird you follow me because that’s basically all I post about), the sport of weightlifting requires you to lift the heaviest thing you can over your head in two different ways, known as a ‘snatch’ and a ‘clean and jerk’. Yes, these names lend themselves to a great many opportunities for my favorite level of humour; gutter, but besides the great jokes, there’s not really that much to laugh about when you start taking the sport seriously, but unfortunately, unless you do, you’re probably not actually going to get any better at it…unless you’re one of those annoying fucks who’s like ‘Oh whoops I PR’d AGAIN’, in which case go awaaaaay.

I read once that weightlifting doesn’t build character but reveals it, and I couldn’t agree more. If you don’t have strength in your convictions, can’t take criticism or feedback, or place 100% of your self-worth on external validation, you won’t last, or, you’ll spend a lot of time crying in the car outside the gym, on the way home from the gym, and at the gym (hypothetically). By sharing this lifting related wisdom to others I guess I’m hoping it will sink in for myself a little more, because lord knows I’m great at fucking giving advice but not so great at taking it myself.

Whilst the lessons I’m sharing are related to the sport, they are all pretty universal to whatever the fuck is going on with you, as there’s a lot of very relatable wisdom to be gained from failing to lift the same weight over and over again. So keep reading even if you’re not a person who bases literally every aspect of their life around training and yet wonders why it’s so hard to meet anyone these days or why no one really understands you (also hypothetically). Enjoy.

You are who you surround yourself with.

Be with people who genuinely love and support you, and who aren’t secretly hoping you’ll fail so they look better by default. Choose relationships with people who are on your team unconditionally, not those who offer their friendship when it’s convenient. True friends are there whether you PR or are crying into your bag of jelly snakes between lifts. On the flip side of this, accept that what’s going on for others is just as important to them as your shit is to you. Celebrate your friend’s wins as if they’re your own, and acknowledge that as hard as you think you’re working, everyone else is actually trying just as much to be the best that they can be, and whether this level of effort looks different to yours or not is irrelevant. (This was a HARD one for me to accept, so I can appreciate if this last sentence makes you raaaage and disagree. But honestly, it’s a lot easier for you if you’re not in a constant state of resentment at everyone else’s perceived lack of effort).

Feedback is everything.

How are you going to get better unless you actually constantly seek out improvement ? You don’t learn anything from a successful lift, or whatever else you do with yourself. Failure is our biggest learning opportunity, so regularly self assess, analyse what worked and what didn’t, and actually make changes, rather that doing the same dumbass stuff over and over again and ignoring everyone who has the balls to tell you you’re being an idiot. No one likes to be told that they could be doing something better, but when you’re trying to be perfect at something it’s near impossible to be perfect at, get fucking used to it.

You aren’t fucking special.

No matter what is going on with you the chances are high someone else has or is currently experiencing it. Whether your arms don’t lock out still, or you’ve been ghosted by yet another Tinder match, these are all just things that happen, and in no way an indication that you should stop training or swiping. You’re literally just one lift / match away from a decent one, right? If it helps, tell yourself that literally every hardship or barrier you have ever faced so far you have overcome, and if you somehow can’t, you’ll know that’s just not a thing for you and move on to something that is.

Finish your pull.

This literally does not apply to anything else in life besides the obvious wanking joke which I’ll avoid (but not really because that was kind of one).

Get the fuck under that bar, basically. Or at least if you don’t, really take the time to understand WHY you didn’t, so ideally you get under it the next time.