Elephants
Happy week three, my isolated friends. This week I wanted to share something I learned recently in my counselling study pursuits that has really helped to change my mindset about Lockdown 2.0. If you know me at all, you'll know that I'm a firm believer in the strength in your head being the key to unlocking your potential, whether that's in the gym, or if you're struggling with a situation like the one we are in right now. Basically if you don't believe that there's a way out or through, there quite likely won't be.
The thing that I read that interested me is this concept of 'learned helplessness'. Let me explain it by way of a kind of cruel, but effective, analogy. When elephants used to be trained, they would be tied up by their back legs so that they couldn't escape. This ‘training’ would begin when the elephant was very small, so although he would try and escape, he wouldn't be strong enough and his efforts would be unsuccessful. Over time, he stopped trying, feeling that it was impossible to succeed at something he had repeatedly failed at.
As the elephant grew bigger though, he developed the strength and ability to break the ropes he was tied with. He didn't try though. He probably felt silly continuing to try to succeed at something he had never been able to achieve previously. Even though he now possessed the ability to escape, because he never tried again, he was never successful.
This got me to thinking, how many of us are stuck in negative head spaces or patterns of behaviour because we have stopped trying to change them, because we’ve tried before and failed? If we found the first lockdown hard, then how will 2.0 be any better? Obviously it will be just as bad, if not worse, right? Sure, if you want it to be.
Here's the thing…if you struggled to stay connected with those you care about, lost the will to train and stay active, or felt that your motivation plummeted last lockdown...that does NOT mean that you have to have the same experience this time round. I'm not saying it doesn't suck, it abso-fucking-lutely sucks. But to a certain extent, we choose how much it sucks for us. We have the power to change our situation and to escape a negative or unhealthy one, just like the elephant. Let me give you a personal example.
Lockdown number one was a walk in the park for me (within my suburb, obviously). I had full time work from home, a steady income, a place to train, and nothing was really any different. I still complained though. I hated my job and my boss, and felt anxious, depressed and overwhelmed on a daily basis from a situation I felt tied to, much like the elephant. Despite really being very lucky (and ungrateful) to be in such a secure financial situation, I hated every day of the first lockdown. Mentally I felt trapped and it was a total fucking grind.
This time around, I’ve got about 10% of the income and technically even more reason to be anxious. So why is it that once I overcame the initial shock of my situation and got my head around accepting government handouts and free coffees (thank you from the bottom of my heart Susan) that I feel 110% better mentally? Well honestly, I realised that freedom was right there if I chose it. I didn’t have to stay chained to a job that made me miserable and I had the power to escape, I just had to realise I did. Much as we all do, it’s up to me if I want to have a total shitter of a time for the indefinite future, or whether I want to use this situation to strengthen my relationships, build my business, and become a motherfucking counsellor (considering this title for my business card, feedback welcome).
Don’t be the elephant. Don’t let previous failures ensure you keep failing, or old experiences affect new ones. Make Lockdown 2.0 a time for learning and growing, and for moving forward (within your suburb). YOU have the power to be a Lockdown Legend.
