undesirable
Marlowe-Crowne Social Desirability Scale
Sarah’s Score = 8 (Low)
Low Scorers (0–8). About one respondent in six earns a score between 0 and 8. Such respondents answered in a socially undesirable direction much of the time. It may be that they are more willing than most people to respond to tests truthfully, even when their answers might meet with social disapproval.
This is the first paragraph of the in-depth personality test we were required to undertake as part of a service improvement program at work. There’s questions about whether you’d commit a crime if you could get away with it (obviously) and whether you think you are better than some people (um, yeah?). Apparently my answers were outside of the ‘normal’ levels of social desirability, meaning that either I am a sociopathic asshole, or that most people don’t answer honestly because they’re more worried about their opinions meeting social approval than being true to how they actually feel. (Potentially a column A and B type situation.) Rather than feeling upset by this rather brutal assessment, I’ve decided to embrace my undesirability, throw caution to the wind, and write the most honest piece of writing I ever have.
I spent the weekend ‘at’ a prominent fitness convention, sitting at my computer and watching seminars via Zoom because COVID. One of the key note addresses was all about how unfair it was that we as a fitness industry had been lumped in with other ‘non-essential’ services such as cafes, bars, and movie theatres, and that our services had been severely restricted throughout the varying levels of isolation prescribed by the Australian government. The argument was that it seemed contradictory to close all gyms, training facilities, and leisure services, yet deem exercise one of the only reasons acceptable to leave your home during the Level 3 lockdown. The presenter went on to state that we should be held in the same regard as allied health professionals, with the justification that exercise = good mental and physical health, so obviously.
The crowd went wild (in the comments section). Yeah, it was an inspiring speech, and the thought of being ‘at the same level’ as medical professionals is all very grandiose and exciting. But it’s bullshit, sorry. Yes, there are people in our industry who have years of education and experience behind them, but they are very much the minority. A great many ‘fitness professionals’ got their quals from the back of a Weetbix packet, as my Dad would say, myself included. Whilst working full time in the hospitality industry, I attended TAFE three times a week for 6 months to become a qualified trainer. I didn’t know my ass from my elbow and could barely squat myself, let alone teach someone else how to. To put this on the same tier as a medical degree is ridiculous and I’m sure quite offensive to anyone who has undergone the years of study and thousands of dollars required to achieve such a high level of education. Who do we think we are? In reality, we are the same people who post booty burn workouts on Instagram and promote magazines with photos of Ashy Bines on the cover. We plug juice cleanses, keto, thigh gaps, and whatever is the fucking flavour of the #healthandfitness month. I don’t know what that makes us, but it is certainly not allied health professionals.
The weekend left a bad taste in my mouth, and I’ve felt anxious, unhappy, and dreading the world going back to ‘normal’. I just want to stay in my bubble with the few people who get it rather than fighting to be heard amongst the many who don’t. Last night I ate a block of black forest chocolate, watched half a season of Grey’s Anatomy, and told Graham that I never wanted to go back to work. What’s the point, I asked him. All this effort and energy thrown into producing programs that maybe 1 in 10 people understand. For every person that gets that it’s what above the neck that really counts, there’s 9 others who are obsessing over numbers on scans and scales that WE have chosen to make a focus of our services. How can we expect to be taken seriously as a profession when there are those among us encouraging exercise as the primary form of weight loss and preaching ab workouts that burn belly fat. We promote quick fixes, flash diets and 6-week challenges that lead to mental and physical burnout, we encourage aesthetic goals over performance and promote unrealistic body image, putting minimal emphasis on actual game changers like sleep, recovery and sustainable nutrition. This wasn’t what I wanted to make my life about and I’m struggling to find a way to authentically express myself in this industry and bring people a service that I genuinely believe in.
My goal is to change people’s opinions, not their bodies. Get rid of scans and scales and focus on education. Not just education about exercise but about sleep, recovery, nutrition, psychology and all the actual game changers that will help people win at life, not for two fucking months. Not changing people’s habits for 6 or 8 weeks and not giving prizes to people for killing themselves in the gym the most. By rewarding weight loss, over training and short term results, we are literally feeding into this detrimental cycle of crash and burn and the mindset that more is better. This is why we aren’t taken seriously as an industry and this is why the government didn’t think twice about closing us down. We can change this though. We can simplify things, know the limits of our scope, and bring people on board who are experts in things we aren’t. We can work together with other professionals so that we have credibility and are providing our communities with quality education, while we can focus on what we are actually good at…motivating people to become the best and strongest versions of themselves.
I’m not good at my job because of my education. I’m good because I genuinely believe that I can help people improve their lives, not only for a few weeks, but forever. Not on my own, but with actual professionals who share this vision. Through my own life experience and many health and fitness mis-adventures, I’ve learnt all I know the hard way and it shouldn’t have to be like that for everyone. My opinions may not be socially desirable, but they’re authentic, and, I believe, accurate. So what am I going to do about it? Keep binge eating, talking to my cat about the state of the world and posting passive aggressive rants on social media? Or, be the change I want to see, be socially undesirable and be the guy who calls bullshit?
This period of isolation has been a chance to think about what I want and what I believe, to redefine my values and goals and be motherfucking CERTAIN that I am acting in accordance with them, not just for a pay cheque or a pat on the back. I don’t want to be the phoney-baloney plugging one thing in my professional life and the opposite behind the safety of a computer screen. I want my actions to align with my values in every part of my life so that when I get home at night and look at the golden words on my mirror I know that was 100% me, every minute of that day.
