story
Let’s start by talking about the weird athlete-not-actual-athlete subculture I’m a part of and how I feel about it. Like at what point do you start calling what you’re doing in the gym ‘training’ rather than exercise, and effectively cross the bridge from gym junkie to athlete ? My fellow athlete friend put this question to me recently, and it got me thinking: what (if anything) makes us any better than people who gym 3 times a week, and basically just don’t want to be fat? Is it the level of obsessed we are with our sports ? Is it that we weigh our food ? Or that we pay someone to tell us how to weigh our food ? Honestly I don’t think it’s about how many plates are on your bar, or how many grams of carbs are on your plate, but the mindset with which you approach either and both.
When I first started CrossFit and was referred to as an athlete (as in “beginner athletes work up to a heavy 3”) I was like lol, what? Nobody called me an athlete when I did Body Pump, and to be fair I got pretty good at that, despite sitting in the car crushing darts both before and after the session (how great was smoking, BTW). But really, at what level do you become an Athlete? Your first proper competition ? First time you RX the Open ? Or first time you *insert other sporting analogy of your choice here because I literally know nothing about any sport besides the two I am trying to be an athlete in.* Seriously, I told someone that another friend got ‘best in show’ in her footy game on the weekend and it took me several days to realize that’s actually a movie. Now whenever she mentions her sport I think about dogs being groomed.
Side note: (because lol)
Prior to 2016, here is a brief timeline of my athletic history in case you were interested.I will refer to these Dark Ages as B.C (before CrossFit, obviously).
age 9: Learnt to skip. 20 years later I finally mastered double-unders (persistence).
age 12: One term of ice hockey (because boys).
age 14: One term of tennis lessons (actual lessons attended: 1. Lessons that were spent smoking homemade durries and talking to boys in the neighboring park: the rest of them.) Also I feel that I should re-title my blog “Sorry, Mum”.
The remainder of any organised exercise during my teenage years was met with a note ‘from mum’ excusing me from said exercise because injury/illness/period.
age 17: Joined my first gym and got as skinny and hot as possible so boys would like me.
*Solid decade of many boys, some girls and literally 50,000 cigarettes, bottles of Scrumpy and poor (but often hilarious) decisions*
age 29: Starts CrossFit.
I know my blog is all about (mostly) me trying to be an athlete, but I honestly don’t seriously consider myself to be one. I won’t lie, I have referred to myself as such, but only in the context of asking the neighbors to keep it down at 9pm on a Saturday because Athlete, or explaining to people that I can’t come to their social event at 9pm on a Saturday because Athlete, or have you got the packaging from the food you just made me so I can scan it in MFP, because Athlete. I technically have sponsors, (thank you SO MUCH for clothing me and fixing my body, respectively) but I think that’s more a ‘we like you, you’re funny, not ugly, and have a strong Instagram game’ thing, rather than a shit, watch this space because we’ll be seeing you at the Games thing (unfortunately).
I listened to this podcast recently with Ryan Holiday, (must read his book The Obstacle is the Way if you froth over that #mindset shit as much as I do) and he talks about how he has a pet goat, and how when he posts photos of his goat he gets people commenting ‘omg I’ve always wanted a goat, #goatgoals etc” And he’s like, get a fucking goat then, they’re $50 off Craigslist. Obviously like there’s a lot of reasons that people don’t actually own goats, but I think the point here is that if you really, REALLY want a thing, whether it’s a goat, a person, or a lifestyle, then you can have it. I always wanted to live alone, and now I do. I always wanted a cat, and now I have one (yes, probably the first of many). I want to legitimately call myself an athlete, and because literally all of my time / money / mental and physical energy is directed towards this goal I feel I’m at least on the path to becoming one. Dress for the job you want right ? (But don’t actually wear your lifting shoes outside of the gym ever).
Your gym/ training goals don’t have to be to make Regionals or Weightlifting Nationals, or somehow defy the odds and how fucking old you are and achieve both (without dying). Not adjusting your work hours to maximize training time doesn’t make what you do in the gym less important than someone who does, and eating something that you haven’t weighed or scanned doesn’t make you less of a person (it literally makes you more of a person because did you know how hard it is to accurately estimate your calorie intake without measuring. LOL yes I’m a dick.) How far down the rabbit / athlete hole you go is entirely dependent on how many fucks you give. Do you REALLY want to be an athlete ? Or do you just like the idea of changing your instagram account from ‘normal person’. Do you really want a goat? Because yes, they are cool, and #teamsatan and #goatgoals are obviously great hashtags, but having just read an article called Goat Truths (there it is) I can tell you they aren’t a walk in the park (but they would enjoy this).
Whatever (or whoever) it is you want, say it, own it, fucking get after it. Maybe it’s that person you’ve been stalking on Instagram since you saw them at a comp in 2015. Maybe it’s to finally get a license for your urban goat clan, (goat truth #3 is that they are social animals) or simply to live the life of an athlete until you actually become one. One doesn’t become a champion, then start acting like a champion. What’s more embarrassing, not achieving your goals, or not even having any in the first place ? Are you going to be content scrolling wistfully through athlete profiles and liking photos of other people’s goats?
Because one day, one of those Athlete profiles is gonna be MINE.
