isolation
A selfish silver lining of the pandemic is that it wasn’t hard for me to think of something to write about this week. At the end of last year I created a schedule for myself which consisted of releasing alternating blogs and podcasts every Monday (because a friend once said ‘Mindgold Monday’ and I liked it). This has at times been a struggle as writing isn’t this thing where words just flow out of me constantly and I just need to capture them. I’m in awe of anyone who writes a book, even a shit one, because the ability to just have an endless flow of thoughts they can translate into sentences is pretty phenomenal. Anyway I’ve managed to pull a few vaguely insightful paragraphs out of my ass every fortnight so far, so go me. I try and keep shit relevant but I guess weightlifting isn’t relevant to everyone, as much as I do try and use the whole analogy for life thing. So for a change let’s talk about literally the only thing anyone is talking about, the fucking pandemic.
COVID-19 is a motherfucker and everyone is freaking out. Like legit, stabbing each other over toilet paper and yelling at strangers over 1L milk freaking out. Last night I had a dream that I was wiping my ass, and was going through basically an entire roll of toilet paper and becoming more and more anxious that I was trapped in this endless state of pooping and would eventually run out of TP and have to use random household objects. I currently have 12 rolls left but if I poo like that all the time then I’m fucked. We’re all fucked, really, depending of course on which COVID Camp you’re in. I was in the Lol Everyone Calm Down We’re Fine Camp, until my boyfriend talked some sense into me. He said that whilst he appreciates my relentless and sometimes unfounded optimism (Positive Patricia he calls me), this is an actual state of emergency so I should probably start being concerned. So I guess now I’m in the other camp, the Concerned But Let’s Keep Training Obviously Camp.
I haven’t hoarded anything because I just can’t quite grasp the concept that food I eat everyday won’t be available, but I HAVE just spent a fair whack of my savings on gym equipment, so that very shortly I will be able to lift up to 100kg in the comfort of the car spot out the front of my house, or potentially my lounge, if we have another Melbourne weather crisis just to add to all the other crises. I guess I am just a Positive Patricia though, because whilst this is all scary and weird and what even the fuck is happening, there are a bunch of positives I’ve discovered so far that I’m gonna share. You may not agree, but that’s fine just write your own doom and gloom blog. While you get onto that, here’s a list of pandemic silver linings for all you other P.P’s out there waiting for the rainbow.
People are acting like fucking savages BUT…you don’t have to. Use this as a chance to be a legend. Offer your neighbour a roll of TP, help your friends, family, and strangers. Every act of kindness negates every shit fuck TP hoarder and person who yells at you over milk.
Shit is closing BUT that’s a good chance to actually create your own entertainment. You know how you’ve been saying you want to knit / learn an instrument / actually foam roll? NOW YOU FUCKING CAN YAY.
Social distancing is a new and weird reality BUT it’s a great opportunity to spend quality time with the select few in your inner circle. You can still be supportive of everyone…but from a safe distance.
OMFG I can’t find any dumbbells / flour / sweet potato / disinfectant / thing I need right now. Yeap, it’s balls to get to Coles at 6am and still leave with nothing to wipe your ass with. Sucks big time. BUT it kind of makes you appreciate shit when you do have it, right? I’ve never been so stoked to find kangaroo steaks and somewhere that accepts cash.
Guess what I’m saying is yeah, shit is super weird and no one knows exactly how bad things will get, at what speed, and for how long. We can’t control toilet paper supplies, actions of others, or really anything besides how we react to what’s thrown at us. We can freak out and stab someone over a box of tissues, or we can calm the fuck down, look out for ourselves and each other, and start building home gyms.
I’m going to be posting regular #isospo on a new Facebook group I’ve started, Stronger Together. You’ll find the link below. Everyone is welcome to share their pandemic pastimes as we all get through this crisis together and keep all our gains. Be the resilient motherfucker who emerges from #iso a stronger and better human.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and keep those minds gold AF.
