F*ck Motivation
I'll tell you what, winter is a bitch. Everything feels too hard suddenly, from getting out of bed to making some semblance of a nutritious meal. Last weekend my boyfriend and I had grand plans of cooking a roast and ended up buying two 'divorced dad' microwave roast meals instead, just because we couldn't be bothered. What is motivation??
As it's kind of my job to encourage said motivation, I need to sort my own shit out before giving any advice to anyone else — so I thought I'd share what I'm doing and how that looks. Not to be on my high horse here (two for $12 microwave meals speaks for itself) but just so you know it's okay to not be leaping out of bed to hit the gym, or do whatever your day has lined up for you.
Here is my bare minimum:
1. CONNECTION
For me, when I feel exhausted or overwhelmed, I don't want to talk to anyone. I train by myself, I'm shit at replying to any non-work-related comms, and the thought of a social gathering with more than one person fills me with dread. I'm not an asshole, I just need the little energy I do have for ME. Whilst it's completely understandable and okay to feel that way, cutting yourself off from people who genuinely care about you isn't the best approach for your mental wellbeing. Also, people worry.
My workaround here is to connect with one friend a week, in person. It's non-negotiable for me. I know that I'll always feel better when I have spent time with someone outside of my work and training life, and those close to me understand that seeing me less isn't about them (I hope). Small efforts matter both ways. Shout out to Jen here for our weekly walks, this 45 mins is an absolute anchor for me and I appreciate them, and her, SO MUCH.
2. SLEEP
Do you ever get that weird teenage resentment of staying up late just because you've worked a longer day than usual and 'deserve' that time for yourself? And then get annoyed with yourself because you watched five episodes of Summer House and slept like shit? (PS I cannot with the Amanda / West drama). This has to be one of the dumbest things we do as adults. Yes, we deserve to have time for ourselves, but are we really sacrificing sleep to do this? No high horse here — I don't think anyone would disagree and say they feel better on less sleep. Feel free to come at me if that's how you feel. Anyway, I go to bed as early as I possibly can, as often as I can manage it.
3. EAT
Okay so my recent divorced dad meal situation isn't exactly a shining example, but it did include some vegetables and I'm pretty sure the small slice of chicken included had SOME protein. The point is, it wasn't perfect, but it was food. For someone who spent a decade as a chef, I am literally the worst at cooking for myself and nine times out of ten eat re-microwaved food I cooked days prior (on the one day I actually use the stove — Sunday). The thought of cooking dinner every night is abhorrent, so I make do. On a good week I may venture into the kitchen several times, but I've also come to accept that it's okay not to.
4. MOVE
This is probably the one area that I kinda nail, but keep in mind I'm a recovering addict who has spent the last twenty years finding a suitable vice replacement, so it’s more of an anxiety management strategy than a flex. Weights are better than meth, basically. Movement for me is absolutely IT when it comes to feeling like I'm doing okay. Tired, stressed, CBF — I somehow always manage to get to the gym and do whatever is on the cards. It's a coping mechanism, to be honest, but it's one that's served me for years. Now, you don’t have to be an aging psychopath trying to compete in two strength sports, but how about a walk or grabbing a mat and doing some stretches after a long day at your desk? Sounds great!
So back to the original question — what is motivation? I think it's less about feeling fired up and more about showing up for yourself in whatever way you actually can, on any given day. Some days that's a solid gym session and a home-cooked meal. Other days it's a microwave roast and an early bedtime. Both count. Both are you taking care of yourself. And honestly? That's the whole point.
See you out there — possibly at Coles Local in the freezer section.
