2019
I fucking LOVE the start of a new year, analysing the shit out of my every move for the last 365 days and basically writing a big old AAR (After Action Review) and broadcasting it to the world. I first did this publicly at the end of 2018 (see ‘The good, the bad and the miscellaneous) and the 2019 edition will be formatted similarly for your reading pleasure. You’ll notice that the categories and their order of importance in my life have changed, and I feel this is for the better. I’m of the strong fucking opinion that the only failure is to be in the same place in your life a year later, in terms of personal growth and just general badass-ery.
So here we go, as always, this is my perception of the events in my year, with disparaging remarks vaguely concealed but still quite obvious so if you feel something is about you, it most likely is.
Relationships*
(*Note that this was previously in 2 different categories, Friends and Dating, and listed as my last priority, a further reflection of how bitter and fucked up I sounded (was) back in 2018.)
Know your fucking worth and don’t compromise on the big stuff, aka trust and respect. Who cares if you have the same surface level interests. If the other person is a class A fuckstick it literally doesn’t matter if they also like Netflix and eating (news flash is everyone fucking does). What matters is what’s underneath, and that’s your values, so maybe actually define these. This goes for all relationships - romantic, platonic or professional.
If you’re in a dumb-fuck pattern of shitty one sided relationships then stop blaming the assholes you’re dating or hanging out with and change what you’re looking for and what you value in a person. Choose kindness, reliability and consistency over some fantasy romance or friendship that crashes and burns because it’s based off of two dimensional BS.
Treat the person you’re with as if they’re The One. Personally I don’t even believe in this concept, as it’s a pretty bleak one, what I mean is that you treat the person you’re with as if that’s it. Don’t keep a sly horse-eye open for something better, and don’t give that person anything less than your very best. Worst case scenario is it doesn't work out, but you’ve gained some serious practice for one that will.
Everything is fucking temporary, both good and bad. Every relationship has served a purpose. There’s no point being a pussy and shying away from shit that might hurt you. It’s only by experiencing the highs and lows of human connection that we actually learn something and become a better person from it. So get the fuck back on Tinder, basically.
Training
I was asked recently what I was going to change about my training this year and my answer surprised me - nothing. Previously when I’ve felt I’m not making progress at a rate I deem satisfactory I try and change things, or do more things, normally the latter. I realized in 2019 that the key to progress is consistency, in terms of program, recovery, diet and all the other external factors that I have often tried to tweak with the intention of fast-tracking tangible results. Here’s the thing, if we’re talking LEGAL magical gains, there are none. I’ve chosen a sport where progress, especially at my age, is fucking slow. Patience is critical and frustration futile.
That’s literally it folks, stay the fucking course.
Work
Stand the fuck up for yourself. It’s not worth holding the feelings in and being miserable for 40 hours a week. It’s OK to be a bit terrifying.
Acknowledge and accept when you need help. Doing shit on your own is cool because then nobody pisses you off, but other people have good ideas too and not everyone in the world is a total piece of shit.
As long as you have at least one person at work who fucking gets you, and you get to see them at least once a week, everything will be OK. Especially if you have a book club.
Use your lunch break to walk and think. Saves you from 8/10 explosive arguments and crying-at-your-desk episodes. A trip to the duck pond can save lives. Leave your phone on your desk and GTFO.
Take a fucking holiday regularly.
Food
Similar to my training rant, keep it fucking simple and stay the course. Don’t get swayed by another weight class, diet or regime. Sure, having abs is awesome but so is eating and not being a psychopath. Unless you’re potentially going to the Olympics there is really minimal point in killing yourself over a few kgs.
Turns out the world doesn’t end if you don’t eat as soon as you wake up, and there’s something to be gained in waiting a few hours before activating pig mode.
Bread isn’t the devil and never underestimate the power of a pre-training PB & J sandwich.
Miscellaneous (still a great word)
Look around you before leaving an aircraft, lest you leave your fucking amazing golden laptop behind in your haste and are stuck using your crusty desktop from 2006 that can’t even load dropbox so you have to email photos to yourself for the foreseeable future or until Jetstar bloody gets back to you.
Ignore 8/10 of your DMs, or simply heart them to deter further contact.
Just use your fucking aircon and cop the electricity bill. 42 degrees is a temperature that should just not be experienced.
Actually just go to a psychologist. Everyone. Thanks.
So, basically
I feel kind of differently about this years AAR. I think because I don’t have a whole host of things I want to change heading into the new decade. The older I get the more certainty I have around who I am and what I bring to the universe. I give way less fucks about the people who don’t get me and way more about those who do.
I think there’s a lot of value in not defining end goals for yourself and trying to enjoy the moment that you’re in. If I have a goal for 2020 then that is it, to learn from the past and look forward to the future, whilst appreciating the fuck out of what is going on in the here and now.
Regardless of where I end up in another 365 days, I want to be certain that I’ve learnt from the bad, acknowledged the good, and done all that I can to move forward with honesty, consistency, and 10/10 fucking bad-assery.
Again, but better, basically. 2020, let’s go.
