Overcoming Festivity Food Shaming

One thing I know many people find to be a pain point around the holiday season is the unnecessary commentary about how we are conducting ourselves around food, otherwise known as 'food shaming'. 

Food shaming is essentially the act of judging or criticising somebody's food choices, and can be done with or without intention. Food shaming can focus on what you're eating (none of your business) why you're eating it (because I want to) or how much you're eating (the amount I choose to). These comments, whilst often external, can become an internal dialogue and influence our relationship with food as well as negatively impact our self esteem.

The holiday season can be rife with food shaming comments, and turn what could be a peaceful and pleasant time with extended family into a space of anxiety and discomfort, as we navigate various triggers and conversational minefields.

Every time I return home to NZ for Christmas, or any occasion really, I get the same sort of comments from 'well meaning' family, that normally go along the lines of what I'm eating, how my body looks, and the apparent connection between the two. It gets pretty old, and I know I'm not alone here, so I've compiled a list of these 'helpful' comments and the responses I've worked on over the years for when these things come up:

"Do you really need that extra helping?"

"Ohh sorry, did you want it?"

"I suppose you'll work that cake off in the gym tomorrow."

"That's not actually my focus with my training. I enjoy moving my body and lifting weights, without thinking about things like weight loss and body composition."

"Should you really be eating that?"

"Yes." Or, "Yes, it's delicious."

"What are you allowed to eat at the moment?"

"I can eat whatever I like. I appreciate you asking. If this changes I'll let you know."

"You've really... *insert unnecessary comment on physical appearance here*"

"I'm actually not a fan of commenting on people's bodies, as it's a pretty sensitive topic. It would really help me if you could respect my boundary here."*

*If failing that "takes one to know one" is a classic. 

I know that sometimes it's easier to just smile through gritted teeth and complain about food shaming behind closed doors, but here's the thing, keeping shame secret actually just makes it BIGGER, so let's shed some light on it. Try using this as an opportunity to firmly and kindly educate your loved ones on how to change the conversation around food and our bodies. 

OR we can all just have a big group trauma bond when you're next back in the gym!